The Pet Shop {store}

[The Evil Overlordess]

The Pet Shop is a surprisingly normal place (at least for the BWE). It sells kihees and suchlike. (No enough time to describe things right now. Meh.)

Don't traumatize the employees too much, please. They're of the outside world.

--TEO

[CoffeeBeanAvenger]

*burst through the door waving the mug of Caffeine ownage* Time to free these unfortunate kihees and such!!! *hits clerk upside the head with mug* BONK! THUD. *notices cash register* oh wait, this is a store??!?! oops. Well in that case, i'll trade you 100 cases of columbian coffee for all the kihees you got! *clerk lies on the floor unconious.* Hey lazybones! get off of that floor and let me buy these kittahs!! *shrugs* oh well, i'll just leave the coffee here and take mah kittahs home. *pack up kihees and leaves*

[The Evil Overlordess]

*It's a few minutes after Coffee burst into the Pet Shop. TEO is still staring at the tidy stacks of coffee on the floor, and the clerk is sitting up rubbing his head.*

CLERK: What the hell was that?

TEO: *shakes her head* I have no idea. *turns around to look at the clerk and suddenly kicks him in the shin*

CLERK: *in paaain* WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

TEO: You have an ugly hat.

CLERK: I'm not WEARING A HAT!

TEO: Oh. *kicks again*

CLERK: Aaggh.

TEO: That was for having an ugly scarf.

*TEO picks up one of the remaining kihees and walks out of the shop, occasionally cackling to herself and her new kittah.*

[Kirukelgyr]

*walks in* WHAT?! no kitties?

...
...
...

*bursts into tears* OH THE WORLD IS SO CRUEL!!!

*grabs something that looks strong and drinks it* *hiccups* *waves something around, singing* I'M ALL ALONE! THERE'S NO ONE HERE BESIDE ME!!!

*sobs*

AND NO KITTIES!!!

[The Evil Overlordess]

*A small orange-beigish kittah, twitching and occasionally jumping from satic shocks from the floor, comes up to Furball and rubs her leg, purring like a meat grinder.*

[CoffeeBeanAvenger]

*takes the kihees home* there my fresh-faced feline friends, space for all! *hears furball crying in the distance* awww nertz, I hate it when my umm, thingy, ya know, jiminy cricket, wakes up. phooey. *sighs* ok cats, cmon. *picks up kittahs and takes them outside to a stall with the word "Free Kihees" on it*

[Kirukelgyr]

YAY! A KITTY!

*hugs orange kitty* I shall name you Marmalade and you shall have a nice cozy corner, and I shall love you and pet you and feed you whipped cream and kitty treats all the live long day!

wait a moment!

my kihee senses are tingling...

SOMEONE IS GIVING AWAY KITTIES!!

*jumps up and down* YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!

O so happy! *thinks* note to self: get TEO and CLPP lotsa sprite. (CAUSE DEY ROCK!!!)

^^

MY ARMY GROWS! I AM EVIL!!

I HAVE KITTIES!

I HAVE MY GENERALS MWOW AND MARMALADE!

Mwow: Mwow.

Marmalade: Prwow.

Me: ^^ O, they so cute.

NOW! I SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

(excepting the Underlands, the Overlands, the Higherlands, and perhaps the Nonexistantlands.)

[The Evil Overlordess]

*TEO, meanwhile, is standing outside of Coffee's kihee stand and is picking out more new friends. Coconut, her evil Kittah Advisor, Terri, the voice-in-her-head that thinks she's a cat, and Licorice, her new black kittah, stand nearby.*

"Yes, me lovelies, I am getting you many new friends!"

[Kirukelgyr]

*walks up and picks up a yellow and brown kitty* i like you. you shall be another one of my generals. i shall name thee Nougat!

*laughs evilly* BEWARE ALL YE WHO DAREST INTRUDE! I NOW HAVE THREE KITTY GENERALS!

*flashing lights*
NOUGAT! MWOW! AND MARMALADE!

Nougat: Merplow.

Mwow: Mwow.

Marmalade: Prwow

[The Evil Overlordess]

New law for the Overlands: Homeless animals must find homes, or those who neglect to GIVE them homes will be punished. No leavin' them in your car on hot days, either. *nods*

I mean, even Death himself likes cats.

*springs off to feed dog and horsies*

--TEO

[Kirukelgyr]

*cheer* GO DEATH!!

HE TOTALLY rocks!

(I have a picture of him with a kitty TEO, if you wish to see it, i can send it to you.)

And beware...I LIKE KITTIES TO!

and i'm not as nearly merciful to kitty-dissers as Death.

^^ NOUGAT MARMALADE AND MWOW AWAYYYYY!!!

[Skiv]

*hangs from ceiling* *swipes a pure brown kihee* *falls* *slinks out*

[The Evil Overlordess]

*A few days later, TEO is trying to negotiate with the clerk to buy cat food.*

TEO: Hm. How 'bout I don't burn the Pet Shop down, and you let me have the cat food?

Clerk: *wearing a lot of bandages round his head* We don't accept death threats as a means of capital unless they're signed by the President and the Department of Legal Tender.

TEO: Aww, damn. *she wanders around for a while, plotting how to get cat food.* *Whirls around* I know!

*A few minutes later, TEO leaves the Pet Shop with a bag of cat food, whistling. The Clerk has been stuck to the ceiling with was appears to be Green Umbrella Juice.*

Clerk: Helloooo? Anyone? Could someone get me down? *pause* I really have to peee.

[The Evil Overlordess]

*A cloaked figure sneaks into the Pet Shop at the dead of night.*

"'Ello... have you got any..." *reading a slip of paper* "Not-so-ceremonial goats?"

*Leaves a few minutes later leading a ordinary, floppy-earred, gray-and-white goat.*

"Yessss, my pretty. I have a special whatsit devised for you."

*The cloaked one's eyes dart, and she disappears into the woods with the goat.*

[+ ParadoX -]

Do you take "special orders"?



...Because I want a cross between a gopher...and a shark.


:edit: ...Don't ask why.