Goin' on a Lion Hunt! ((Skiv, ASW, TEO.))

[The Evil Overlordess]

((Ask if you wanna be let in, 'cause TEO's brain might explode if she deals with too many people. She loves you all, though. <3))

*The perpetual breeze blows the dried grass of the Bubblewrapian Meadows, and the crumbled ponelias shed their seeds into the wind. TEO, perched high in the lone garlic tree, scans the land, keeping up an amiable chatter with herself.*

"Werr, just one match, this place'd go up like a-- no, can't! Can't! Just one match, though, and-- oh, shut up. Let's hunt lions instead!"

*TEO beams and burrows into a birdhouse nailed onto the garlic tree, retrieving a pith helmet and a plaid scarf. She pulls a net from nowhere, grinning.*

"Capital idea, luv. Capital idea."

*She slides down the trunk of the tree, gleebling to herself.*

[The ASW]

The ASW sits in the prickly grass with a bento box, Pavlushka floating in the air in front of her. The ASW's controller chooses to reiterate to all or none of how much she wants a bento box. They're so cool! All compartmented for Japanese goodies. Damnit I want one!

A familiar voice around her made her look up, squinting into the freakish crisping sunlight at TEO. What on earth was she wearing? The ickle Russian whatever stood and brushed herself off, handing Pavlushka the bento.

"I see you at chambars latar."

And now she disappeared, reappearing next to TEO's ear.

"Vhat are you doing? Going to vanquish the chipmunks that ate your garden?"

[Skiv]

Skiv falls to the ground with much branch snapping, twig breaking, and sreeching in rather unintelligable Romanian.

Looking over, she sees ASW and TEO, under the garlic tree.

"Oye there! V'at's goin' on?" Skiv comes trotting over to prod them both.

[The Evil Overlordess]

"I'm goin' on a lion hunt!" TEO proudly proclaims, waving her net. She twirls and stares at the ASW. "Ooooh, the chipmunks. I'm not worried about them-- eatting the garden is its own punishment."

*BACK AT THE CITADEL OF DOOM*

Chipmunk One: Wooooah, maaaan. It's all blue.
Chipmunk Two: Hair? Was that you, hair? Kyle, my haaaair is talking!
Chipmunk Three: Hahaha... look... Kyle said blue.
Chipmunk Two: God, my hair is talking-- get it off!

*BACK IN THE MEADOWS*

*TEO blinks and shrugs.*

"Anyone wanna hunt vicious, frothing carnivores with teeth the size of yer forearm with me?"

[The ASW]

[ HAHAHHAA ]

The ASW blinks at TEO after poking Skiv viciously in the side, then looks at her forearm.

O.O;;;;;

A long pause.

".... okay, vhatevar."

[Skiv]

Skiv strikes a noble pose, donning a pith helmet of her own, and really big black combat boots.

"Never fear sweet maidens!! For Skiv, the Lion-Slayer has COME TO YOUR RESCUE!! On ward!!"

Skiv then tries to run off into the prairies, but trips over her boots.

"Bloody fie."

Viciously rips the boots off and decides to go barefoot.

[The Evil Overlordess]

*TEO takes a deep breath and muses for a second.*

"Wait, do the meadows even have-- AGH!"

*A streak of tawny fur that can only be a ROUGE BUBBLEWRAPIAN PLAINS LION leaps from the bush and grabs TEO by the helmet, dragging her across the field.*

"Neeeeeeh! Skr34m! 'elp, a thingitiy's got me and it's gonna eat my head off!"

*Flails uselessly with her net, biffing the lion on the nose*

[The ASW]

The ASW looks down at her frilly dress, then at Skiv's and TEO's huntware. She shrugs, then skips after them.

But OMG NO TEO gets dragged off by a lion!

"Vell, thet vas.... vrandom."

And so she walks after TEO, having a hard time maneuvering through the tall grass and suchlike.

[Skiv]

"ASW!! VE MUST SAVE TEO!!" Skiv dashes off after the LION that has TEO clutched helplessly in his jaws. Then, in mid-dash, she shrieks and hops around on one foot.

"Arg!! Splinter! Splinter!!"

[The Evil Overlordess]

*While TEO's friends are busily engaged in their petty personal injuries and stuuuurfs, TEO is busy being GNAWED UPON ON THE HEAD by a LION in the lion's lair, while TEO biffs ineffectually at it with the handle of her net*

Lion: *gnawgnawgnaw*
TEO: ...nothing personal, but I have to ask-- with the lions that live, you know, in zoos-- do they stamp them, 'property of the zoo?'
Lion: *gnawgnaw* RAWR!
TEO: Oh, okay. Um. That is my head.
Lion: *is apathetic to TEO's whims*
TEO: *sighs*

[The ASW]

Trips gracefully over Skiv and lands in the grass.

"How did you get a splinter!? Ve are in meadows, I see no trees nearby!"

She takes Skiv's foot, accidently flipping Skiv over, and examines the splinter.

"It is nearly fatal! But you vill live. It missed your... artery vein whatsit."

[Skiv]

"Unsimpithetic fiend! Fine!! We must save TEO!!" Grabs ASW around the waist and proceeds to drag her through the plains.

"Wait, which way did it go?"
Skiv hears from a bit away to the south; "RAWR!!!"

"Oh, that way." Runs southward, still dragging ASW.

[The Evil Overlordess]

TEO: Um... I have this cat, see. Coconut. I guess he might be related to lions... biologically. 'Ave you heard of him, maybe? Perhaps you send each other Christmas cards?

*The lion gets bored with TEO's rambling and curls up to go to sleep. TEO debates the wisdom of poking the lion and shuffles towards one of the few tunnels that might lead up to the ground. Or might lead to the Lesser Fields of Heck. Oh well. She'll know someone in either place...*

[The ASW]

Is dragged.

"Ow ow ow ow! Chafingk grass is nyet goodt for skin!"

[Skiv]

"Sure it is!! It's exfoliating!" Skiv speeds up a bit, heading for the cave.

"Hey look!! I see the cave!" Skiv rushes into the cave with ASW. "TEO WE HAVE COME!!"

Lion: *wakes up and growls*
Skiv: Greept!
Lion: *advances*
Skiv: *eyes the lion and edges towards a tunnel*