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Post by Skiv on Sept 16, 2005 9:11:29 GMT -5
No no, that's in the other thread.
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Post by The Evil Overlordess on Dec 5, 2005 16:10:21 GMT -5
TEO, being evil, which, according to her Definition of the Day, included invading people's privacy, stood on a chair in the Nauseous Possum, a string of Christmas lights in hand. Outside, the Medium Seas roared with all their might, the water splashing over the windows. She whistled to herself as she strung the lights up over the bar.
"Ohhhh theeee weather outside's terrifying,
The fishes are tossed up and dying,
I'd drown if I tried to go,
So let it snow, let it snow, let it snoooow!
Soon I'll be bored and sighing,
For other amusements the ADD will be vying,
But the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's on the rad--i-oooh,
LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOOOW."
Not bored enough to get into the verses where the key changes and the bits about being touchy-feely, TEO hopped down from her stool and smiled at her handiwork.
A festive plastic reindeer-- which means life sized, not these silly little lawn ornaments-- loomed from one corner of the bar. A few candles and things had been set up on the tables in red and green, and a sprig of chamomile dangled over the doorway, since TEO couldn't find any mistletoe. TEO herself wore her Red Baroness goggles, a red and green scarf, and a 'I Went to the Battle of Waterloo and All I Stole Off The Bodies of Dead Soldiers Was this Crappy T-Shirt' shirt.
"Perfect," she mused, sliding a bit as the ship heaved. "Now, all I need is someone to harass with holiday cheer."
She sat on one of the stools, hoping idly for someone to come in.
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Post by Kirukelgyr on Dec 6, 2005 16:33:37 GMT -5
*bursts in* *slams the door* TEO! TEO! I have something important to tell you!
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Post by The Evil Overlordess on Dec 6, 2005 16:50:32 GMT -5
TEO jolted, gasped, and fell off her stool, and proceeded to slide around on the floor a little, since the weather was making the ship rock.
"What, Furball? Is it a code orange? A code mauve? A code chartreuse? A code L? What? What happens?"
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Post by Kirukelgyr on Dec 6, 2005 20:15:50 GMT -5
*begins to sob* Oh TEO! It's just so horrible!
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Post by The Evil Overlordess on Dec 6, 2005 20:33:12 GMT -5
"Tell me, Furball, or I will combust! What is it? You're not allergic to festive decorations, are you? Wombles hasn't eaten Skiv, right? No one's found the Sheep's bones in the Hedge Maze? Tell me!"
TEO looked dazed and gingerly patted Furball.
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Post by Kirukelgyr on Dec 6, 2005 21:28:09 GMT -5
Oh TEO! I managed to staple these onions to my hands and they huuuuurt! *sniffles* And they make me cry more! *shows onions stapled on the backs of hands*
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Post by The Evil Overlordess on Dec 6, 2005 21:29:54 GMT -5
TEO stared at the staples and the onions in horror.
"That's dreadful! Here, there's probably some sort of staple-remover from behind the bar... or some acid that will corode the staples enough so the onions fall off. Or something."
She went to rummage around behind the bar, flinging bottles with wild abandon.
"What d'you think, 'danger, deadly poison' means?"
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Post by Kirukelgyr on Dec 6, 2005 21:34:30 GMT -5
*sniffles again* I think it's french. *begins to cry again*
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Post by The Evil Overlordess on Dec 6, 2005 21:46:31 GMT -5
"No, I speak French... study French... things. Maybe it's Romanian or Russian. The ASW would know." TEO's eyes glazed over, and she shrugged. "Ach, I expect it doesn't matter... oh!"
She held up a small purple bottle and squinted at the green label.
"Liquid #19 by MA: Potion for melting staples from Furball's hands. Do not use in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Whoo, that's convienient. Wonder how it got here."
She shrugged and uncorked the bottle.
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Post by Kirukelgyr on Dec 6, 2005 22:17:38 GMT -5
*sniffles* *holds hands out* Will this hurt? Oh Furball hates things that hurt.
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Post by The Evil Overlordess on Dec 6, 2005 22:26:39 GMT -5
"Nah, it won't. When has MA ever hurt anyone with one of her potions?"
Visions of mushroom clouds danced in TEO's head, but she shrugged them off and poured the liquid onto Furball's hands. It steamed slightly, and she came across a masking tape label as she turned the bottle.
"Uh-oh."
The label read: Actually contains substance that burns when comes into contact with onions, Furballs, or Christmas spirit. Beware!
"Um, Furball... you don't feel that stuff... er... itching, do you?"
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Post by Kirukelgyr on Dec 6, 2005 22:29:39 GMT -5
Well yes, actually. *looks up with teary eyes* Why?
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Post by The Evil Overlordess on Dec 6, 2005 22:33:55 GMT -5
"Just 'cause... I'm thinking... you might be... er... allergic to this stuff." She nervously watched the back of Furball's hands begin to smoke, and one of the onions caught fire. "Aren't Furballs generally allergic to potions that end in... er... nine?"
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Post by Kirukelgyr on Dec 6, 2005 22:35:02 GMT -5
Only on Tuesdays. *little shrug* Good thing today is Monday.
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Look at the lovely leaf Oz brought me!!
